Saturday, February 26, 2011

Millions of politicians.

There are sixteen candidates in Clare. SIXTEEN. In my head, that's the same as a million. So technically, there a million candidates in Clare. Don't argue with the logic, just go with it. This is bad news for the journalist based in Clare.

Here's why:

Sixteen candidates dilutes the vote, distributing it across the million, unevenly, but breaking it down. This means that none of the candidates meet the quota, so the lowest is eliminated. The five votes that guy got because he looked like the goofy guy who has a cameo in that zombie movie you saw, now have to be distributed upwards. Those votes aren't enough to beat a quota for anyone, so the next most unpopular lemon-head is eliminated and the sympathy votes he got because he looks like his mam and dad might be brother and sister, are now distributed to the other 999,998 candidates.

This process repeats itself until (A) Someone gets enough hand-me-down votes to make a quota, (B) they run out of candidates and elect the last four losers or (C) everyone in the election kills themselves out of boredom and the politicians sneak home lest they be accused of being in a cult.

God Bless the hack in Clare... you've a long night ahead. Two counts down, and two unpopular people eliminated...

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